Dinner Dates

Alyne’s Mom is spending time in Alabama this week. Baby Eve, whose mother is Alyne’s twin, Kate, had some surgery yesterday, so Al’s mom put on her Grandma Extraordinaire costume and went down to help. And help she does—she hits Target on her way into town for cleaning supplies and name-brand detergent (and, usually, some potpourri and throw pillows) and then spends the rest of her visit cleaning, cooking, and redecorating. While Alyne’s mom is busy being Grandma, Alyne’s Dad is in charge of her. This means that Alyne will be going out to eat a lot this week because her dad isn’t a very good cook.

Alyne has quite the prolific history with restaurants. She’s allergic to everything, she’s prone to temper tantrums at the drop of the hat when things don’t go her way, and she farts and burps whenever and wherever she pleases. We tend to seek out restaurants that not only are tasty, but are also full of patient employees (and patrons) who are considerate of her situation. Some of these employees include Terrell at El Chico in Atlanta, who would “flirt” with Alyne (she always ignored him because she’s such a coquette), Rob at Guadalajara Café in Kansas City, who acquiesces when Alyne points to the table as if to demand that her drink arrives with the chips and salsa, and David’s entire crew at Ohana Japanese steakhouse in Leawood.

I also work at a restaurant, and a while back I wrote a blog entry about Catfish Steven. He’s a special-needs man that comes into the restaurant in which I work with his parents, siblings, and a few nieces and nephews. He’s in his forties, has gray hair, and always wears a Buckeyes sweatshirt. His mom looks exhausted, like she spent the better part of the day trying to get him into a pressed pair of pants and forgot to brush her own hair (you don’t have to be a special-needs community member to empathize with that, every parent has done that at some time or another.) He comes into the restaurant, orders fried catfish and rice, and quietly behaves during the family meal.

Or so I thought. He came in with his family last night, and as I walked past them he was being scolded for cursing at the table. As he was leaving he told me he was coming to the restaurant for his birthday (which is in March.) Except for the fact that he’s verbal and Alyne’s not, he’s pretty much the male version of Alyne. They both eat the same thing over and over. They both are coy with various wait staff. They both start planning festivities far, far in advance. They both live at home with their parents. Actually, they’re both a little devilish, with a gleam of mischief in their eyes. Yet, they both obey the “put your hands in your lap” rule without too much complaint.

I wonder if we could set up Catfish Steven and Alyne on a blind dinner date?

Buddy Walk of Central Ohio

(I meant to post this, oh, two months ago.)

Alyne, myself, and the rest of our clan grew up in Upper Arlington, Ohio, which is an upscale suburb of Columbus (of course it is upscale, we’ve already discussed that Alyne dabbles only in the best that life, and money, has to offer.) This year, for the first time in twenty-plus years I attended the Upper Arlington Fourth of July parade, a parade that goes on for nearly three hours and is all things patriotic. The Air Force flies overhead in formation, and the ROTC camps and veterans are plentiful.

The parade is also full of all things Upper Arlington (go Bears!) and, since Upper Arlington is located so close to the Ohio State campus, all things Buckeye. And, since Upper Arlington is an upscale suburb, the audience was full of things upscale and suburban, including an absolute lunatic of a woman named Margarita who was so type-A personality that she apparently came down to the parade route four days ahead of time to stake out, with ropes, the sidewalk area along the parade route that she wanted to save for her family. Of course, by the time the parade started, her ropes were long gone. And, of course, my friends, their children, and I had unknowingly taken up parade-viewing residence in her little staked-claim area.

Boy, did Margarita throw a fit, loudly telling everyone around us (but not us directly) that we had stolen her seating area. Never mind that it is ILLEGAL to block a city sidewalk, especially when you’re blocking off a fire hydrant. Seriously, had she been even remotely nicer, we would have probably moved, but she was nasty, so we stayed put. She certainly wasn’t living up to the little red lacquer pin that she had stuck on her shirt that read “World’s Sweetest Grandma” so we ignored her and enjoyed the parade from our vantage-premium seats–the spoils of a turf war, if you will. We sat through marching bands, football teams, class reunion floats, local bands, military representatives, Purple Heart recipients from several wars, some sort of Ohio State alumni float, and roughly a kajillion other floats too.

The parade entry, of course, that filled my heart was for the Buddy Walk of Central Ohio. Parents, volunteers, and children and adults with Down Syndrome all walked behind a banner, waving to the crowd. Even better: the entire audience gave them a standing ovation. Talk about tears in my eyes! Not only because the applause drowned out our friend Margarita, but because the applause was meant for a cause that is (obviously) dear to my heart.

The Buddy Walk was developed in 1995 by the National Down Syndrome Society and is held in October, which is national Down Syndrome month. National Down Syndrome month is meant to educate, promote, and include people with Down Syndrome. There will be over 300 Buddy Walks nationwide this year, and Columbus’s is on October 3 at the Crew Stadium. I wonder if Margarita will be attending? If so, I’ll make sure to save her a seat.

I want to go for a walk, but there’s a game on TV

My ‘real job’ is as a bartender in a restaurant in Columbus, Ohio, which means one thing: you don’t ask for time off during football season. Missing a bar shift in Columbus during football season is as fiscally unwise as an accountant taking an African safari during tax time.

Columbus, of course, is the location of THE Ohio State University and the hallowed land of the Ohio State Buckeyes, who happen to have won the Big Ten championship in 1916, 1917, 1920, 1935, 1939, 1942, 1944, 1949, 1954, 1955, 1957, 1961, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1972, 1973, 1974, 1975, 1976, 1977, 1979, 1981, 1984, 1986, 1993, 1996, 1998, 2002, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, and 2009. They were also crowned NCAA champions in 1942, 1954, 1957, 1961, 1968, 1970, and 2002.  So, yeah, football is a big deal here in C-bus. Last year, every borough in the city moved Halloween because it was on a game day. Hordes of people huddle around TVs every Saturday from September through November, dressed in scarlet and gray, their weekend mood completely dependent upon the next play. Conversations center around a bad referee for roughly a year or so after a lousy call.

So why in the world do fundraising event planners in Columbus plan these damn fundraising walks (the Buddy Walk, Autism Speaks! Walk Now for Autism) on the day after a football game? The Autism walk, particularly, is the day after a home game, and it is supposed to be on campus, so every walker that signs up is going to be sidestepping vomit that smells suspiciously like it was expelled during a walk of shame–canned Natural Lite purchased with a fake ID and chugged like Pepsi-Cola by a 19-year-old in his or her dorm room. 

Of course these fundraisers are important, and I plan on participating in both of these (and some of you, I know are going to help me out with Team Alyne.)  But during football season?  You wouldn’t hold a wedding during football season, so why a fundraiser?  My suggestion (because we all know I have one for you) is to hold these fundraisers during the spring season. There’s rarely snow in Columbus in late April. By then everybody has cabin fever anyway, so the participation level may actually be higher.  Just thinking.  Ranting.  Whatever.  Go Bucks!

Alyne Dior

Whenever somebody connects to this blog through a search engine such as Google, I get a little notification that lets me know what words people have been typing into the search engines to get here. Lately, I have been visited by people who are Googling “Aline Dior.” So I did my own search for Aline Dior, thinking that it wouldn’t be too far off to have the House of Dior design a dress and name it after our Alyne, and sneakily change the spelling of the name of the dress to avoid paying Alyne the royalties she is due.

Then I figured it out. Somebody is looking for an A-line Dior dress. Ahhh.

You can’t blame me for my anti-Dior thought. Alyne is atually known for having the best wardrobe at Lakemary, as well as being the best-dressed member of her family, which is really saying something–Alyne’s family frequently shops at higher-end stores such as Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman-Marcus. Actually, Alyne’s twin, Kate, sent me some perfume from Neiman’s for my birthday, which is the most decadent thing I’ve received as a birthday gift in well over a decade.

When you receive a gift sent from Neiman-Marcus, you receive a particularly elegant treat. They forego the traditional wrapping paper and opt to send a monochromatic box, tied with a giant matching satin bow. The bow is adorned with some sort of trinket such as a miniature, pearl-encrusted picture frame, or a little wooden Chinese fan, or, as in the case of my perfume, a large silver keychain in the shape of a giant ginko leaf. I felt like a princess receiving the box, and the bottle of Jo Malone’s Orange Blossom smelled great. I walked around all day smelling good and feeling super-classy while sending Kate an email thanking her for the gift. She shot back a response, letting me know that the perfume was Alyne’s signature fragrance–that Alyne has the body balm and she greases herself up like a pig with it every night.

Of course she does. She’s Alyne Dior.

Auntie Al

Alyne is officially an aunt again! Little niece Evie Sue (this is not what her parents plan on calling her but is absolutely what I plan on calling her so that I can substitute her name while singing The Hollies’ ‘”Peggy Sue”) has made her way into this world and is an incredibly beautiful baby. As the mother to Alyne’s other niece, I would like to give the new mother (my sister Kate, Alyne’s twin) some advice.

1. Never, ever let Alyne sit in the backseat of the car with the baby. She has been known to rip bottles and pacifiers out of little baby mouths and toss them in the front seat, out of the baby’s reach. And, there’s nothing quite like looking in the rearview mirror and watching Alyne’s little pinchers headed, slowly but surely, toward your already-crying baby.

2. Don’t ask Alyne if she wants to hold the baby. She doesn’t. Not any more than she wants to pet your dog, eat yogurt (her least favorite food ever) or clean up her room. She doesn’t want to kiss your baby either. What she wants to do is discusss what you are bringing her for dinner and whether or not she will be going to work tomorrow.

3. Don’t expect Alyne to be quiet when the baby is napping. She has stuff to do, Hayley Mills videos to watch, and Michael Jackson’s Thriller CD to listen to and she isn’t making any concessions for a napping baby. Period.

4. Do expect Alyne to empathize with a sad and crying baby. She feels that baby’s pain. Nothing makes Alyne more upset than listening to someone else, especially a baby, cry. She feels so strongly about babies not crying that when she hears one crying, she will also cry, matching that baby tear-for-tear.

5. Holidays are still reserved for Alyne in that they absolutely must follow a specific pattern. Gifts should be given–specifically, an Arch Card. Alyne cares much more about the celebration-in that she cares about the food that will be served, so as long as you provide guacamole and chile con queso she’ll be fine.

I think that about covers it. Welcome home Evie Sue!

Straight from the Marietta Daily Journal…

Dreams Do Come True

By Katie Ruth Camp

EAST COBB – “I feel like a princess,” Casey Carroll, 19, said as she walked to the limousine that was to take her to dinner and her prom at the Fox Theatre. Her mother clicked her camera every five seconds, looking for the perfect shot after an hour of staged photos. Casey Carroll, dressed in a floral gown she bought days after being asked to the prom last summer in the midst of her uncontrollable excitement, smiled as she turned to her mother and said what most teenage girls have said to their mothers at least once: “Mom, stop. You’re embarrassing me.” But Casey Carroll was not like most girls at the Lassiter High School prom. She was not the prom queen, she was not looking forward to any big after-party, and she was ready to step out of her high heels before she even got into her limo. “When Casey was little, me and her father just thought she would probably never get to go to the prom, because we just weren’t sure anyone would ask her,” said Sue Ann Carroll, Casey Carroll’s mother. “Not only is she getting to go, but she has two great dates. To see that, and to see her so happy, I can’t tell you how much that means to us.” That’s because Casey Carroll, full of laughter, jokes and smiles, was born with Down Syndrome. And as much love as Casey Carroll gives, she receives even more.

“She’s my girl,” Casey Carroll’s brother, Kevin Carroll, said as he stood near his sister, dressed in his tuxedo. Kevin Carroll is a junior offensive lineman at Auburn University, and has always had a close relationship with his little sister, even giving up his free afternoons as a Lassiter student to sit with her at lunch. “I can honestly say knowing her has made me a better person. She’s waited so long for this, I’m just really happy for her.”

Kevin Carroll would have taken his sister to her prom, without any hesitation. No need, though, as she had a date most Lassiter girls would have loved to have. Philip Lutzenkirchen, a former Lassiter and current Auburn football star, told Casey Carroll he would take her to her prom last father’s day, as the Lutzenkirchen and Carroll families celebrated the holiday together. The two families have been close ever since Kevin Carroll and Lutzenkirchen became friends as Lassiter football teammates.

“Casey was just upset talking about it because she said she wanted to go to prom but probably wouldn’t get to because no one would invite her. So Philip told her he didn’t get to go to his prom, so he’d be happy to come back from school and take her,” Sue Ann Carroll said. “I pulled him to the side later and just said that was sweet but he didn’t have to do that, but he was insistent and said he would be happy to.”

Kevin Carroll also came back to his home town to travel with Casey Carroll to her prom with Lutzenkirchen’s sister, Ann, as his date. But the weekend was not short of drama, as Casey Carroll had a reaction to a medication on Friday and broke out in hives, head to toe, with a 102 degree fever. She spent Friday in tears, afraid she would not be able to have her dream day on Saturday as Sue Ann Carroll took her to two different doctors, desperately searching for help.

Luckily, with a combination of new medicine, love and prayers, Casey Carroll was well enough to have her day in the limelight. But Lutzenkirchen was not as lucky, when he received a concussion during Auburn’s Saturday morning football scrimmage. After visiting the doctor, it was apparent he would not be feeling well and would not make it in time for photos, but that did not stop him from coming.

“I told her I would take her, so I’m going to do that,” Lutzenkirchen said, as he traveled from Auburn to Marietta on Saturday evening. “We just have a special relationship. She makes me crack up, and she has that gift where she just lights everyone up. She deserves a great prom.”

And even though Lutzenkirchen was not able to make the photo session, Casey Carroll had another date as 25-year-old Chris Melka, the son of her life-long swim coach Barbara Melka, got his hair cut and dressed in his tuxedo on an hour’s notice to be Casey Carroll’s stand-in. He held her hand as she walked from one photo location to another, telling her she looked beautiful.

“Casey’s one of the most popular kids in the school. The teachers, students, everyone will tell you that,” Tommy Carroll, Casey Carroll’s father and a football coach at Lassiter, said. “I’ll take her to Publix every Sunday and they all know her and love her. Everyone loves Casey. She’s hard not to love.”

Tommy and Sue Ann Carroll said the entire Lassiter community has come together to support their daughter on her big day. The parents wanted to get her a limousine for her big night, but were disappointed when they found out it would cost a staggering $900.

So when Kyle Cooper of Property Masters and Corey Agee of the law firm Agee Fisher Barrett found out that Casey would not be going to the prom in a limo like many of the other prom attendees, they pitched in with other Lassiter alumni to pay for her limo, as well as flowers and a dinner gift card.

Casey Carroll will graduate in May, after which her parents said they will expect her to get a job and pay rent for her room at their home. “We’ve raised her just like we’ve raised our other three kids,” Sue Ann Carroll said. “But I have to say she’s the least of our worries. She’s taught us to be more patient, kind and accepting. We wouldn’t be the people we are now without her.” As the limousine pulled away, Sue Ann Carroll wiped her eyes and smiled. “She told me all day she’s a woman now. But she’s still my little girl.”

Coming Together

Amazing Antics of Audacious and Autistic AUNT Alyne

Laziness is Not a Handicap

The Pinch Hitter